March 11, 2011

The Mucus Man Is Loose! (And off to the supermarket)

Beware, oh foolish Earthlings!
RUN, FLEE, RUN, YOU FOOLISH EARTHLINGS! The Mucus Man cometh! He does not know mercy! He does not know fear! He has known nothing in his entire wretched existence but all-consuming HUNGER! A burning, screaming hunger deep inside his gut! The hunger for potato chips to go with his Simpson Marathon!

See how his hideous face is obscured by a woolly scarf, tucked in the sides of the collar of his formidable jacket. It has been whispered that beneath the scarf lie HORRIBLE DISFIGURATIONS! Those that see them, do NOT live to tell the tale! Well, then how do you know, you may wonder. And that's one of those mysteries of the universe, people.

BUT OF ONE THINGS YOU CAN BE CERTAIN, that beneath his jeans, he still wears his pajamas!

Watch now, as he makes his way stumbling down the steps of his apartment, down to the street, cowering against the wind that CHILLS HIS VERY BONES! See how it crawls back deep inside his jacket so no man will ever see its horrific countenance.

And now, it turns the corner, crosses the parking lot, making sure no-one sees him. For they would drive him out with pitchforks and torches. If they ever got hold of him, they'd strap him in a chair and subject him to horrible experiments that are unlikely to benefit mankind in any way, but that would certainly delight the depraved hunger of the masses!

Closer and closer he comes to the mass of people gathering in front of the supermarket, growing more fearful with every step, the Mucus Man approaches. Will they discover him? Will they see him for what he really is? Or can he manipulate their simple minds? Is he indeed a master of disguise, passing himself off as mere human. BY JOVE, THE THOUGHT ALONE!

But it works, so far, he is in. Quickly now, past the vegetables, the meat, the bread. The candy rack, oh do not stop at the candy rack. He hesitates for one moment! Will he fall victim to his own weaknesses? Will he attempt to buy the sweet eucalyptus candies he's been craving for so long? BUT HE CANNOT! For they will undoubtely destroy the Mucus Man and turn him back into one of these weak human beings!

So he walks on, grab a bag of chips from the rack, oh perfect monster! That's what you came in for...

And now the final test. Shoveling its way past the various people, he is surprised nobody notices his heavy panting, his constant sniffing and coughing behind the scarf. Nobody looks into his blood-shot eyes. Nobody seems to notice him at all!

Now, the cashier, a wretched woman who cannot possible comprehend the beast that stands in front her! Scan the item, my dear, just scan the d#mn thing! Do not look up into its eyes, do not even pay attention! Tell him the price, go on, TELL HIM! Never mind that the clammy hand shakes when he hands you the coin! PEARLS BEFORE SWINE!

SAVE, METHINKS! But nay, there is still the trip home! Again, past the yapping housewives, the seated men begging for a coin! GO ON, BEGONE FROM THIS! Go on, my beautiful monster, and go thou back to thine home!

Five minutes it takes before the lock enters the keyhole and the blessed warmth of its dwelling leaps up at him again! Oh, now the monster can relax and take of this stifling scarf! See, young earthling, how horrible the deformaties of its face, see where the tissues have left deep indentations ON ITS UPPER LIP every time he blows his nose! Oh, what a horrific sight!

Let us not dwell upon it any longer, my young apprentice! Let's leave this wonderfully wretched creature to its own devices! Aw, hark, the first manic notes of its horrific cartoon already sound! Can you hear it munching, young earthling, MUNCHING upon its chips?


Marcel 'the Mucus Man' Admiraal

BTW: the picture above is called Town Eater by LAURA WACHTER. She resides in Granada, Spain and has an excellent portfolio called Nova Contigo!

For more EXCELLENT monster pics go to CruZine!


Tristan Bethe said...

Glad something funny came out of your cold! I am a firm believer that we should try to let cars run on mucus. Fill up your tank once and from there it will automatically multiply and multiply and you never run out! Makes for extra ugly accident scenes though.

Marcel Admiraal said...

Hahaha! Yeah, I definitely agree with that. Some sort of bio-engineered android car or something... Well, if any artists read this, please send us your sketches!
Thx for the thought!


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